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too much

Sadly right now i need to cry my eyes out without anyone knowing it. I hate how i cry in front of people it makes me sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just want to be strong and not weak. i wish i really never had emotions cuz then i would not feel any
of this shit that's going on in my life. why me? why me? what did i do to deserve this? why am i suffering? this are fucking questions
that i want them answered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't deal with stuff anymore. i just want to disappear from existence
i want to go away from everyone's life and make them happy with me gone. No one will miss  me no one will even care!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and yes i posted this into a community xbroken_deepx but this is how i reallly feel today like shit and wanting to die.

I always wonder what is life like if i never meet him?
i would have been the same girl who would still have her walls around her.
i would be a quiet girl,
never to talk,
never to see things clear.
But i meet him and my world went upside down.
I began to see things clear,
i began to talk more,
i am now a loud girl,
and my walls collapsed.
But now i have experienced something more than life i wish it never existed
and that is pain and suffering.
i hate that feeling so much i just want to kill myself.
i wish he could see whats he has done to me,
but he is too blind to see whats in front of him.
i try to distract myself but nothing works.
please can someone get rid of my pain?
Can someone kill me?
I want to really end my life as of now.
funny how no one know who i really am here.
so it's impossible to get help.
there is no such thing as hope and dreams.
there are words that could blow away with the wind.



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